I’ve been invited to deliver a keynote speech for the international conference on aging and sexuality on September 19, 2014 at Widener University outside of Philadelphia. The title of my lecture is: “I’m Not Too Sexy for my Catheter: Sex is Different Now, and It’s Great!”
Anyway, because of that I have been reminiscing about my post accident sexual “education”.
I recall, for example the detached clinical information I received from my physician saying: “you won’t be able to do this, but if you do that, then you may be able to do a variation…” Basically just a list of things I couldn’t do..But always wanting to leave on a positive note, he said: “but look at it this way, this is an opportunity for you to be creative”.
Of course you understand how I wanted to injure his genitalia and invite him to be creative, but I was a good boy. Well, that day anyway.
A few days later I was with my physical therapist who I was quite fond of (yes, that way too) and I told her all about my difficult visit. She was great with this and very understanding and compassionate. She told me that although there was much I could not do, I was still a sexual being-at least as much if not more so than before.
The following week we revisited the issue of my sexuality and with tears in her eyes she explained that I would not be able to ejaculate and that sperm would have to be surgically removed from my testicles if I wanted to have more children. She was so warm and loving it almost broke my heart to have to tell her that I had a vasectomy the year before!
But when I did we both laughed. It’s so good to laugh.