An Obituary
IN MEMORY OF MY MEMORY
It was never crystal-clear as it always had a thin fog to it. For most of my life, I tried to pretend I remembered more than I did. But for most of my life that poor memory just lumbered along with me like an unwanted relative.
And then I turned 60 and my memory gland stopped producing like it did. I felt let down. (Humor intended). And it continued to get worse over the years. At one point I began to miss my original foggy memory.
I tried lying about my memory for a while. When people said: “Dan, do you remember when…, I would nod my head like a bobble head doll implying I was remembering something I wasn’t.
I was either ashamed of that poor memory or judging it quickly realized that my memory was just my memory and that we had been together for over 70 years.
My memory has tried it’s best my whole life and its mediocrity is really nobody’s fault. So now when someone asks me if I remember something, my answer inevitably is: “of course I don’t remember, don’t you realize who you are talking to?”
And to all my patients: none of this is really true. My memory is impeccable. Actually it is a little peccable. Oh well
(Disclaimer: This is not to poke fun of those suffering from one of the dementias. They suffer terribly and they and their caregivers need all of the help and compassion in the world. This is just intended to make fun of those of us with normal aging deficits.)
Who are you?????? LOL! as one of your fellow-memory-losers, I am still laughing at your comments! Now if I can just remember why I came down stairs!……I do remember you in my heart often as I think back over the years! Carol is still smiling down at you! Lov U and your humor!
Ed
A wonderful post Dan! Memories may fade as we age, after all the mind is an organ that ages too. However, I believe wisdom (some call it ‘street smarts’) is more indelible and permanent. We may not be able to recall specifics (or memorable moments) that formulated our wisdom because it’s like a cake once baked, the ingredients are no longer recognizable, cannot be separable but, the end result is wonderful to share and consume.
I do wish that our society would place more value on elders and the experience and wisdom that comes with it. So Dan, the memories might fade but, your impact on the world is forever. Thank you for you!
Me too.
As a “Former” Actress & Cabaret Singer, it devastates me that my memory also has diminished a great deal.
I have difficulty memorizing new lyrics, forget lines in plays & misremeber events from my past, insuring my husband ( who has an outstanding memory & reminds me what really occurred.
This is extremely frustrating for a woman whose talent depends on memory.
Dan,
I hope you are weathering this damn virus time in good health. I’m doing okay. I referred Dr Earl Yarrington to your website. He’s a long time English PhD and newly mintedvSocial Worker, father and newly divorced. My old therapist called him a genius after reading some of his writing. Wishing you well.
Pat