Child sexual abuse is almost always done in secret, and the victim is usually manipulated into keeping quiet. Pedophilia is shameful. And because it so often remains private, the victim can carry the shame for a lifetime while the perpetrator stays in denial. The psychological impact depends on the victim’s relationship with the perpetrator. If […]
On Healing 9/19/2005: Anxiety of being a severely allergic teen
A mother recently wrote me about her 12-year-old daughter, Rachel, who has a severe peanut allergy. She was always anxious about it, but lately she has been avoiding restaurants and other people’s kitchens for fear of getting sick. Peanut allergies can be life-threatening, and the number of cases has doubled in the last several years. […]
On Healing 9/5/2005: Disasters such as Katrina have a way of opening hearts
As we witness the devastation on the Gulf Coast, and see people suffering through unfathomable adversity, it’s impossible to imagine what they are experiencing. But it might be helpful to look at we are feeling. I watched some news footage last week with my nephew. This is a man who can be pretty gruff, sarcastic […]
On Healing 8/22/2005: Loneliness: The grief and the gift
Dear Dr. Dan: In your last column, you mentioned that loneliness is about missing something. Despite feeling loved by others, I find myself pretty lonely. Maybe it’s because I work about half time on the computer at home. Or because the other half of my day is spent with my 15-month-old daughter, who is wonderful […]
On Healing 8/8/2005: Love, loss happen all over; with empathy, peace can too
On a recent trip to Israel, the summer heat hit me at our first stop after just 30 minutes on the tour bus. So while my tour mates were seeing the sights, I ducked into an empty, air-conditioned cafeteria. It was about 11 in the morning. I hadn’t quite figured out how to order coffee […]
On Healing 7/25/2005: Parents can reduce the risk of childhood depression
In my last column I talked about the difference between sadness and depression. And I talked about various treatments including medication and psychotherapy. Depression is a brain disorder, and some children are more prone to it genetically. But parents can do many things to diminish the risk. And the same techniques that reduce depression risk […]
On Healing 7/11/2005: Clinical depression is very different from sadness
I recently received a letter from a woman who said she’s been feeling depressed because a significant relationship ended. She felt consumed by angry and sad thoughts and felt it was time for help. But under no circumstances would she take medication. Without seeing her, I cannot diagnose her. But the fact that she is […]
On Healing 6/27/2005: If the brain had a better filter, we’d all be happier
After 30 years of studying the human mind, I think I finally understand how it works – and how it doesn’t. The mind is like a kidney. Every day the kidneys receive about 200 quarts of blood and automatically decide what’s nutritious and what can become just urine. Every day the mind receives billions of […]
On Healing 6/20/2005: Rate of expulsions speaks poorly of schools
The Yale Child Study Center recently released a report saying that 5,000 preschool children are expelled each year. Although the study did not describe the kinds of behavior that triggered expulsion, anyone who has visited a preschool knows that controlling a room full of 4-year-olds can be like herding cats! We also know that preschool […]
On Healing 6/6/2005: This couple’s life about as unhappy as they can stand
I recently consulted with an unhappy couple in their mid-40s. Her first story: I work 30 hours a week and come home to care for the children and the house. When he comes home, usually after we’ve done dinner and cleaned up, he either works or turns on the television. I am tired and lonely, […]
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