Forget Freud and Spock: Many of today’s parents are raising their children based on the works of Charles Darwin! You know, eat or be eaten, excel or fail. And the message is getting through loud and clear. Most children I speak with are under constant stress to achieve excellence in everything they do. Even neighborhood […]
On Healing 12/20/2004: When life throws you a wicked curve
Dear Sam: You frequently ask why I’m in a wheelchair. When I tell you my legs don’t work, you ask why. Because you’re only 4, I have tried to give you explanations that can make sense to you. But here is the real answer: 25 years ago today, I kissed my wife and my two […]
On Healing 12/6/2004: Self-criticism never a good thing
Self-assessment is healthy; angrily berating one’s faults is destructive. Dear Dr. Dan: I am the parent of a fairly impressive 14-year-old. She plays violin and piano, reads three or more books at a time, and writes enthusiastically. Her fault? Self-criticism. While my husband asserts that criticism helps us grow and achieve, I am suspicious and […]
On Healing 11/15/2004: How can we chase fear that enveloped election?
For the last two weeks, people have been asking me to write a column about healing after such a divisive election. No small request since I needed to do my own healing. I wondered how I could be objective enough to write a column about healing when all I could do is pretend to be […]
On Healing 11/1/2004: Healing a divided country before it turns disastrous
People tend to isolate themselves with others who think alike. But as we’ve learned from history, segregation is a dangerous trend. A Democratic friend recently went to protest at a local appearance of the President. Anyone going to a political rally representing the minority view shouldn’t expect a warm welcome. But my friend said she […]
On Healing 10/18/2004: Tough inner critic fosters low self-esteem
Hi, Dr. Dan!: My father, who committed suicide about seven years ago, always viewed me as his competitor, and continually sought to kill my spirit. I still can’t get my brain around why any father would do this. Apparently, he did a pretty good job. Every time I was feeling good about myself, and said […]
On Healing 10/15/2004: A story of anger, sadness
When I heard the news of Christopher Reeve’s death, I felt great sadness, fear, anger and some loneliness. Only quadriplegics and their loved ones know what we go through. Christopher Reeve died of an infection related to a decubitus ulcer. Most are unaware that we get these ulcers (also known as pressure sores or bed […]
On Healing 10/4/2004: Lost in a techno trance
For 10 years now, you have been hearing Dan Gottlieb write about compassion, insight and reflection. Not today. I’ve had it! Kindness doesn’t cut it, so I will try the more direct approach: “Wake up, people. You have drifted into some kind of bizarre, machine-dependent self-important trance.” Here’s the deal. I am sick of going […]
On Healing 9/20/2004: At home, school, give kids a stress break
School is back. And sometimes it’s back with a vengeance. Or so it seems from a letter I received from Linda, mother of a fourth grader in Montgomery County. She said even at that age, students are instructed to have “working lunches” to complete their assignments. “The children are told that they may eat while […]
On Healing 8/16/2004: A climate of fear makes us less likely to be fair
In these times of elevated and high terror alerts, our leaders tell us we should be more vigilant but live our lives normally. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that, but I’m working on it. I know some people become frightened and withdrawn, some become cynical, but very few are untouched. And why? […]
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