“I first met Gerrie at the Family Institute of Philadelphia in 1972 when she was one of my first teachers. The Family Institute was still male dominated despite rumblings of something called ‘feminism.’ Nevertheless, she was highly respected, not to mention widely loved. Shortly after I started working with her, my wife developed cancer and […]
Thoughts after my best friends funeral
“I think about you every day and I don’t know why I haven’t called you.” I weep as I write these words because they were spoken by one of my oldest friends during our final conversation. Robbie and I became best friends during my senior year in college and my first year in graduate school. […]
On Healing 1/15/2010: How Dan Gottlieb and Teddy Pendergrass helped each other
Monday, January 15, 2010 I first met Teddy Pendergrass in 1983, a year after his accident. He had just been released from rehab, and called my office for therapy. He was feeling hopeless and didn’t think he wanted to live. I didn’t tell him that it had been just four years since the accident in […]
On Healing 12/21/2009: It’s time to take a break from writing
For the last six months, I have struggled with whether or not to give up this column. I love my relationship with you the readers. I am honored by your trust when you write with your life stories and ask advice. And I treasure being put in the position of teacher. Being invited to share […]
On Healing 11/23/2009: A 9-year-old suddenly has sleep problems
Dear Dan, I sure could use some advice. We have a 9-year-old daughter who has been an excellent sleeper her whole life. About six weeks ago, she started having trouble going to sleep. I did the same thing at her age, but don’t remember what my parents did to help me, other than show me […]
On Healing 11/2/2009: Dying man can’t control ‘wondering mind’
Dear Dan, I was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a type of cancer, in September 2008. I was told it was terminal and that I should get my life in order. How does the average person deal with this? The mental anguish is much harder to endure than any physical pain. I am a 52-year-old married man […]
On Healing 10/26/2009: Caretaker needing to care better for herself
We first met Trish on these pages in March when she described how her husband, Rick, was in a car accident and paralyzed from the shoulders down, needing extraordinary care. Contrary to doctors’ recommendations, she took him home instead of placing him in a nursing home. Now she works full time, cares for her husband, […]
On Healing 10/19/2009: Be calm, but vigilant over children’s ‘playing doctor’
Dear Dan, Today I found my 4-year-old daughter naked from the waist down and a 5-year-old male friend of hers (clothed) together upstairs. I told her to put on her clothes and come downstairs. I was a little upset, but not angry. She later told me he wanted to play “butt check” and touched her […]
On Healing 10/12/2009: Agony, anger in child’s suicide abates – with time
Dear Dan, Recently, our beloved son Kenny, just 19, ended his three-year struggle with depression by taking his life. Despite the fact that it has been almost half a year, I think of him constantly. Memories of him flood my mind all day long, especially when songs come on the radio. I still cry because […]
On Healing 10/5/2009: Letting go of the father you hope for
Dear Dan, How does one be in a relationship with a narcissistic parent? I am an only child, and my parents were divorced when I was 8. My mother passed away from illness when I was 21, so my father is all I have. He has some health issues, but none that would keep him […]
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