New Year’s is coming, so it’s time to make those resolutions. What’ll it be this year? Lose weight, quit smoking, how about get to the gym more often or become a better person? Of course New Year’s resolutions succeed about as often as lottery tickets pay off. New Year’s Eve is the world’s oldest holiday. […]
On Healing 12/12/2005: Parent’s anxiety can end a dialogue
The bucolic hamlet of Lititz in Lancaster County is an unlikely site for a double murder. That’s where 18-year-old David Ludwig is accused of murdering the parents of his 14-year-old girlfriend, Kara Beth Borden, after the two had stayed out all night. While the mantra of many mental-health professionals is “parental involvement,” these parents seemed […]
On Healing 11/28/2005: Instead of fires, illumination
The riots started on Oct. 27 with the accidental deaths of two boys fleeing police in a Paris suburb. Small gangs of youth began to set cars on fire in impoverished housing projects. The riots quickly spread to 300 cities and towns across France. And within 10 days France had seen millions of dollars of […]
On Healing 11/14/2005: How complicated abortion can be
In the war of sound bites over abortion, each side stakes out its turf and avoids the more complicated human issues. Last year I worked with a couple I’ll call the Joneses. After 20 years of marriage, they were considering separation. Their oldest was a senior in high school. Marriages often run into trouble when […]
On Healing 10/31/2005: Guilt may result from feeling helpless
Dear Dr. Dan: For many years I have been struggling with my mother, who makes me feel guilty. As long as she was married, she was fine. But now that she does not have a husband, it seems as if she expects my husband and me to take his place. She also will not ask […]
On Healing 10/17/2005: Experience shows: Healing is within you
My last column responded to the Catholic Church scandal by examining the impact of pedophiles on their victims. I reviewed a treatment model in which the perpetrator publicly apologized after understanding the harm he had done to a child. In response, Evelyn, who was abused as a child, sent the following letter: Thanks for your […]
On Healing 10/3/2005: The long-lasting harm pedophiles do
Child sexual abuse is almost always done in secret, and the victim is usually manipulated into keeping quiet. Pedophilia is shameful. And because it so often remains private, the victim can carry the shame for a lifetime while the perpetrator stays in denial. The psychological impact depends on the victim’s relationship with the perpetrator. If […]
On Healing 9/19/2005: Anxiety of being a severely allergic teen
A mother recently wrote me about her 12-year-old daughter, Rachel, who has a severe peanut allergy. She was always anxious about it, but lately she has been avoiding restaurants and other people’s kitchens for fear of getting sick. Peanut allergies can be life-threatening, and the number of cases has doubled in the last several years. […]
On Healing 9/5/2005: Disasters such as Katrina have a way of opening hearts
As we witness the devastation on the Gulf Coast, and see people suffering through unfathomable adversity, it’s impossible to imagine what they are experiencing. But it might be helpful to look at we are feeling. I watched some news footage last week with my nephew. This is a man who can be pretty gruff, sarcastic […]
On Healing 8/22/2005: Loneliness: The grief and the gift
Dear Dr. Dan: In your last column, you mentioned that loneliness is about missing something. Despite feeling loved by others, I find myself pretty lonely. Maybe it’s because I work about half time on the computer at home. Or because the other half of my day is spent with my 15-month-old daughter, who is wonderful […]
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