Dear Dan, I manage a small group of people in a university setting and I have difficulty with one person in particular. During performance appraisals, she gets immediately defensive and behaves as though there is no truth in what I am saying. I always give positive feedback first and then areas for improvement. And I […]
On Healing 5/26/2008: Dark news cannot dim her brilliant smile
I first met Andrea Collins Smith in August when she was a guest on my radio show. This 36-year-old, married mother of six had tattoos up and down both arms, sparkling eyes, and the happiest smile I have ever seen. She also had a turban on her head, part of the uniform of a woman […]
On Healing 5/12/2008: How depression can infect a whole family
Jane was nearly 40 years old when she came to see me for poor self-esteem. Despite her achievements, she never felt good about herself and was unable to sustain a relationship with a man. She attributed much of her difficulty to her father, whom she described as angry and judgmental. “It seemed everything I did […]
On Healing 4/28/2008: Encountering someone different
What is your first instinct when you see someone who is disfigured, deformed or just plain different? To look away? To react by rote? Many years ago, waiting to meet a colleague, I was sitting in the lobby of Hahnemann Hospital, my briefcase on my lap, drinking a cup of coffee – when a woman […]
On Healing 4/14/2008: He must control rage over her infidelity
Dear Dan, My wife of 20 years has been lying to me about an “office” affair with a man. I know she is lying because I have taped conversations in my home, checked the GPS in her car and even saw her with my own eyes kissing this man in a local park near her […]
On Healing 3/31/2008: Building doctors’ emotional link to patients
In a recent column I described my experience dealing with a severe illness in a health care system that was often devoid of the compassion I needed but rarely received. Many of the doctors were probably very kind and caring people who had the compassion stripped away – first by unreasonably demanding training and then […]
On Healing 3/17/2008: Midlife depression: Not unusual or incurable
Marge was 48 years old when she came to my office last year complaining of depression. She said her marriage was “comfortable, but without passion.” Her teenage children were doing well, but she was worried about paying tuition when the time came. Her work life had been stable for 15 years. And then she woke […]
On Healing 3/3/2008: A patient yearns for a caring touch
I took a couple of months off because of some health problems. It all began last summer, when my normally slow heart rate suddenly dropped to dangerous levels. A pacemaker was implanted the next day, but within hours I was experiencing wild fluctuations in blood pressure, and extreme fatigue. The doctors thought it was temporary. […]
On Healing 12/24/2007: A loved one grieving? Give the gift of simply listening
“Pictures on the nightstand, TV’s on in the den Your house is waiting . . . for you to walk in But you’re missing” – From “You’re Missing” by Bruce Springsteen Tomorrow will be Linda’s first Christmas without her husband. They had been happily married for 20 years, and their two teenage daughters were […]
On Healing 12/10/2007: Don’t let denial go too far
Psychiatrist to Jackie Mason: “We are here to understand your unconscious.” Mason to psychiatrist: “My unconscious is none of my business!” – From “The World According to Me” Have you ever noticed a mole on your body that looks like it might have changed? You get that creeping feeling of anxiety, promise yourself to call […]
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