I could never do two things at once very well. At first I thought it was a male thing, then wondered if it was my learning disability. I was exonerated in December, when Vanderbilt neuroscientists Paul E. Dux and René Marois and colleagues reported in Neuron magazine that the human brain is incapable of doing […]
On Healing 2/5/2007: Mother cheers up when she stops trying to change her son
Mary came into therapy because she was depressed about her 25-year-old son. He was gay, using drugs, and engaging in high-risk sexual behavior. She believed the only way she could find peace again would be if she got her son’s behavior under control. As long as he was out of control, she believed she would […]
On Healing 1/22/2007: Forgiveness is hard but it lets you heal
Joyce was abused by her father when she was 12 years old. She’d hated him ever since. When I met her last year, she was 50 years old and had a long history of difficult relationships with men, depression and overall inability to enjoy life. She blamed most of her problems on her father. Her […]
On Healing 1/8/2007: A seriously ill son, and an agonizing father
Dear Dr. Gottlieb, I am writing to you because I am in so much pain. I was a student in Philadelphia in 1998, and now I am living back in my native Egypt with my wife and two wonderful boys, Sileem and Mostafa. Sileem is 14 and Mostafa is 9. Five months ago, Mostafa became […]
On Healing 12/25/2006: We all seek peace, but how many practice it?
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi Why do so many of us work so hard all week in the pursuit of some type of security, and then go to our houses of worship for a couple of hours on weekends and pray for peace? Perhaps I […]
On Healing 12/11/2006: Hatred is human, and springs from feeling vulnerable
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. – Carl Jung Don’t you just hate Michael Richards for his racist tirade in a California comedy club? And Mel Gibson for his anti-Semitic venom? Certainly, I hate racists and racism. Incidents like these also bring to mind an encounter I […]
On Healing 11/27/2006: Would less homework lead to more learning?
My last column was about too much homework and what to do about it. I advised adolescents to form committees of students and parents to examine homework practices at their schools. I suggested they consult several recent books that argue that excessive homework does little good and a great deal of harm. I supported the […]
On Healing 11/13/2006: Teenagers drastically need more downtime
To all adolescents, You need more time. Ninety percent of the high school students I speak with say they are under great stress. Most of it is time-related, and much of that is a combination of too much homework and too little sleep. You need time to sleep (physicians say nine hours a night at […]
On Healing 10/30/2006: Discoveries in the pursuit of happiness
Opening a recent talk to seniors about maintaining intimate relationships as we age, I asked a question: Would they be satisfied if, at the end of the lecture, they knew how to be happy in a partnership? They all raised their hands. Then I asked whether they would be satisfied knowing how to be happy […]
On Healing 10/16/2006: Confront child abuse with open attitude
The ongoing story about former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley’s sexually explicit e-mails to congressional teenage pages prompted many queries from parents and the media. Most ask the questions I get in every crisis: “How can I explain this to my children?” “How can I protect my children from danger?” The answers are important, and easy […]
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