People tend to isolate themselves with others who think alike. But as we’ve learned from history, segregation is a dangerous trend. A Democratic friend recently went to protest at a local appearance of the President. Anyone going to a political rally representing the minority view shouldn’t expect a warm welcome. But my friend said she […]
On Healing 10/18/2004: Tough inner critic fosters low self-esteem
Hi, Dr. Dan!: My father, who committed suicide about seven years ago, always viewed me as his competitor, and continually sought to kill my spirit. I still can’t get my brain around why any father would do this. Apparently, he did a pretty good job. Every time I was feeling good about myself, and said […]
On Healing 10/15/2004: A story of anger, sadness
When I heard the news of Christopher Reeve’s death, I felt great sadness, fear, anger and some loneliness. Only quadriplegics and their loved ones know what we go through. Christopher Reeve died of an infection related to a decubitus ulcer. Most are unaware that we get these ulcers (also known as pressure sores or bed […]
On Healing 10/4/2004: Lost in a techno trance
For 10 years now, you have been hearing Dan Gottlieb write about compassion, insight and reflection. Not today. I’ve had it! Kindness doesn’t cut it, so I will try the more direct approach: “Wake up, people. You have drifted into some kind of bizarre, machine-dependent self-important trance.” Here’s the deal. I am sick of going […]
On Healing 9/20/2004: At home, school, give kids a stress break
School is back. And sometimes it’s back with a vengeance. Or so it seems from a letter I received from Linda, mother of a fourth grader in Montgomery County. She said even at that age, students are instructed to have “working lunches” to complete their assignments. “The children are told that they may eat while […]
On Healing 8/16/2004: A climate of fear makes us less likely to be fair
In these times of elevated and high terror alerts, our leaders tell us we should be more vigilant but live our lives normally. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that, but I’m working on it. I know some people become frightened and withdrawn, some become cynical, but very few are untouched. And why? […]
On Healing 8/2/2004: Take your vacation every year, every week, every day
Summer vacation. It’s time to go to the Shore or mountains with family and finally get away from work. Maybe in the old days, but according to a recent survey by careerbuilders.com, a third of all workers take their work on vacation. That includes laptops, checking voice messages and e-mails, or staying in touch with […]
On Healing 7/19/2004: With violence all around, keep it out of the home
We have long known that exposure to violence puts people at risk for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). And we know that trauma from violence can affect every relationship. Now, in an article recently published in the International Journal of Emergency Mental Health, investigators found that many of the social workers who counseled large numbers […]
On Healing 7/5/2004: Wife can’t tell husband she’s upset
The closeness has faded, and she feels the responsibility is hers alone. Dear Dr. Dan: I’ve been married almost 22 years, but I don’t feel very close to my husband. I was in therapy about 12 years ago, and my therapist told me it’s my fault because I won’t tell him when he makes me […]
On Healing 6/21/2004: Remember with every loss, there’s a gain, too
Dear Sam, Happy birthday! I have written you a letter each year since your birth; this is the fourth. The first was to welcome you into our family. The second was to tell you that when you were 20 months old we discovered that you had some autistic characteristics (pervasive developmental disorder). And last year […]
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