“I first met Gerrie at the Family Institute of Philadelphia in 1972 when she was one of my first teachers. The Family Institute was still male dominated despite rumblings of something called ‘feminism.’ Nevertheless, she was highly respected, not to mention widely loved.
Shortly after I started working with her, my wife developed cancer and we had 2 little girls. I was going to the hospital every day, coming home and taking care of my girls and still going to work every day. One day Gerrie asked me how I was. I answered in the same way I answered everyone else. I told her that my wife was doing okay and that she was recovering from her surgery and that my girls were also doing well. But Gerrie surprised me with her response: ‘No, I want to know how you are.’ I hadn’t even thought about how I was until she asked that question and I burst into tears. And she held me.
To this very day I can feel her care and love.
Several years later, I was in a car accident and became a quadriplegic. One morning in the hospital I was unable to open my eyes and became unresponsive. Despite what everyone was trying to do, my eyes still would not open. So what did they do? Yes, they called Gerrie. She dropped everything and came right to the hospital. When she got to the room she went to my bed and said in a pretty assertive voice: ‘Dan, open your eyes.’ Magically, my eyes flew open.
Oh, did I mention she was attractive? Very attractive. And I was kind of smitten with her. I know, student falls in love with teacher and it is transference or Oedipal. Maybe so, but my love for her lasted an additional 50 years and I am confident my love for her will continue for the rest of my life.
She was my teacher, my mentor, my therapist, my role model and my precious friend. And she was all of those things every day of those 50 years. Somehow my world felt more stable knowing she was in it.”
Dan, Gerrie was a wonderful teacher and therapist to me. During a very rough time while her client, she offered and brought me a cup of tea. After years of analytics therapy, with all its neutrality, I was touched to the core, and learned something very important about the place of love in therapy.
Hi Chris I am so glad you have her in your life just when you needed it. She was quite a woman
Dan:
I know we’ve lost touch somewhat, but hope you are doing well. I didn’t know Gerrie, but I am sure you passed down her spirit and in that way I got to know her. My condolences to you, my friend.