Thoughts on the Cusp of 70

So here I am on the cusp of my 7^th decade on this planet. 70 years on this earth, with this body.

This body that has experienced assault from schoolmates, sports injuries and 3 major concussions. This body that has experienced sexual abuse from a man he trusted and idolized when he was 12 years old.

This body that has experienced abuse from my own hands; from the foods I ate (and still do occasionally) from what I drank (and still do occasionally), from the drugs I used (yes, used), from the sleep I’ve deprives this body from, from pushing it beyond what was reasonable, from neglect and sometimes resentment.

And this body that has been living in a wheelchair for the last 36 years. This body that suffers every day and seems to be more so as it ages.

So on the cusp of my 70^th birthday, I turn to this body, to this life, and with my head bowed and tears in my eyes I say “thank you, thank you. Thank you for giving me this life, for surviving all that you have been through, for showing up every day so that I can live another day. Thank you to this body and brain and heart that enables me to care so deeply and love so easily.

I weep with gratitude at all of the good fortune I’ve experienced in these 7 decades for reasons I can never fathom.

I look back on my life and I whisper: “Grace”.